Be Gentile With Me

We got back from Florida tonight, fresh off a fun-filled, Cheeky-free weekend at our friend's wedding.  Although we certainly missed the little kid, it was really great to spend time together with just the two of us.  We stayed out late, slept in, and...other things.  There's a little guilt floating around the house that we enjoyed ourselves so much, but the way I figure anybody who sleeps for 16 out of 24 hours in a day can't possibly miss us that much anyway.

The wedding itself was a lot of fun, and it was my first experience at a true Jewish wedding.  I was raised Catholic, and until now almost all the weddings I'd been to were some variation on a Christian theme--churches, bible-readings, etc. (Quick shout out to my boy Anton who tossed a few nice pagan rituals in for good measure).  Even my own wedding, in which I actually married a Jewish girl (Oy!) didn't have the trappings of the traditional spectacle we attended this weekend.  Since many of my most loyal readers do not live in places where the office empties on Yon Kippur, or have never tasted challah or gefilte fish, allow me to share my goyish observations (as CroutonGoy, if you will) on the experience, and how it compares with what I grew up with:

	Jewish	Catholic
Length	20-30 minutes	45-60 minutes	Advantage   – Jewish, by a wide margin
Supplementary Language	Hebrew	Latin	Advantage   – Catholic. Latin is much more elegant, and phonetically pronounceable.
Location	Temple	Church or Cathedral	Advantage   – Catholic, but only if it's a classic old cathedral with the stained glass and pipe organ.
Invocations to elephant-headed gods	None	None	Advantage   – Push.  But from what I hear things  get crazy when Ganesh is involved
Headgear	Yamulke	None required	Advantage   – Catholic. Sorry, but from behind it looks like everyone has periods on their heads
Food & Drink	Wine before ceremony. Cocktails and food immediately after. Dinner until 1 AM.	Reheated lasagna in an aluminum container.	Advantage  – Jewish. I chased the tray of pigs-in-blankets for half an hour…AWESOME
Musical High Point	Havah Nagilah – everyone joins hands and dances in a circle while bride and groom are hoisted dangerously on chairs	Chicken Dance – everyone looks like an idiot.	Advantage   – Jewish. And the Jews are rightly laughing at us.
Cinematic Equivalent	“Fiddler on the Roof”	“The Godfather”	Advantage – Catholic. “Someday—and that day may   never come—I will call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day, accept this justice as a gift on my daughter’s wedding day.” No contest whatsoever

I hope that clears up things for most of you, and offends the rest fairly equally.

We've got a VERY busy week ahead, as WCG² are coming to town to visit Cheeky (that's both WCGrandma and WCGrandpa).  It's possible they may even note our presence as well.  This kids getting a lot of spoiling packed into a short amount of time.  I'll try to keep everyone posted as the chaos ensues...

Comments

[MetroDad]

Too funny. My wife and I had a non-denominational wedding. We're both Korean by ancestry. But having attended so many Jewish weddings, my wife was DYING to do the hora at our own wedding. We didn't do it. But to this day, she insists that when we renew our vows, we're going to have a semi-traditional Jewish wedding. In other words, we're going to step on the glass, do the hora, and sing Hava Nagila. No yarmulkes though.

And by the way, I could be at the fanciest wedding in the world but I'm still a sucker for a good plate filled with pigs in a blanket. Is there anything better?

[Mr. Big Dubya]

You need to find a good Irish Catholic wedding - sure the food sucks, but those bastards can drink and drink and drink.

When my wife and I got married, we gave the DJ strict instructions about no chicken dance and no Macarena - but of course there was a rousing (read: drunken) rendition of Neil Diamond's "Sweet caroline."

[CroutonBoy]

MetroDad/MrBigD: If we ever throw a party again we'll serve Guinness & pigs-in-blankets, and you're both invited.

I suspect the next few parties may focus more on milk, candy, and "not-sharing", though...