I must write to tell you of the strange goings-on in our village this past week. One of the local children, a sweet-natured child called Cheeky by many, has been afflicted with lycanthropy and morphed into a creature of tremendous fury! The transformation has struck fear into the hearts of the entire village, and there has been much rending of garments over how to handle this strange creature.
The village doctor, Mistress Oodgie, used all her remedies to treat the child, hoping to drive the evil humors from her body. She produced a vial of mystical liquid called "Motrin" which she squirted into the wailing maw of the child, but it was to no avail. She then soaked the child's pacifier in a magical substance called "Rumple Minze," hoping to sedate her. Again, the transformed creature fought off the treatment, and the doctor cried many lamentations into the pitiless night.
Then, the great warrior CroutonBoy, strapping as always in his dragon-skin boots and troll-hide jerkin, strode into battle. It was a pitched frenzy, as the battle of wills carried well into the wee hours of the dawn, each adversary angling for advantage over the other. But neither superior force nor gentle pleading could tame the beast, and a trail of destruction lay in its path.
Just when all hope seemed lost, a familiar voice came from out of the sky, and behold, the clouds did part and Grandma stepped forth. It had been many fortnights since she was last seen in our village, having spent a full moon's cycle among the beasts of darkest Africa. Her mere presence brought an aura of peace to the village, and the vile tempers were drained from the fell beast as if by divine force. And lo! The beast became a darling child once more, happy and playful, and was embraced by her delighted parents. Many pitchforks and spades were raised into the air, and chants of "E-C-G! E-C-G!" rose over the tree-tops. Madame Oodgie and CroutonBoy were dumbfounded, repeating their incantation of "Are you kidding me?" but grateful for her services. They showered Grandma with laurels, and they resolved then and there to monitor the child for a future recurrence of the parents-bane and bring her immediately to Grandma for comfort.
And thus did the village's trials end happily. The family is reunited in joy (and squalor) once again, although the fear...the fear may never go away.