Ah, sweet, succulent quiet. I sit here tonight with nothing but the hum of the refridgerator and the thick, sultry air to keep me company. Oodgie and Cheeky are on a mission to New Hampshire to be fawned upon by adoring cousins, whilst I while away the time. And what does any good nerd boy do when given a few hours of free time? Goes to see X-Men 3, updates his wireless security, and fires up the Xbox, of course!
While I'm afforded this luxury, Oodgie is left with a little creature which is fast becoming Mia Hamm. For someone who hasn't quite mastered sitting down without sounding like she dropped a medicine ball, Cheeky has been exhibiting some impressive athletic form. By way of example:
The Changeup: Like all parents, we were foolish enough to buy small objects that are easy to
lose in difficult to reach places grasp and generally come in packs of four or more to maximize the litter zone. Cheeky no longer picks them up and looks at them, but instead is developing a bizarre throwing action which involves heavy panting, an o-face, and multiple wind-ups before flinging the object in a forwardish direction. She'll then chase down said object (assuming it's in a straight-line from her....she's struggling with the concepts of "under" and "around") and repeats the process until we cut her off. She's started to add more advanced skills to this, which have recently involved "kicking" (which is supported stepping with incidental contact) but which elicits mynock-like screeches when it rolls three inches. She's not quite ready to challenge Ronaldinho (I believe independent standing is a prerequisite for World Cup teams) but her enthusiasm may someday put her among the elite.
The Jab: This is a nifty trick applied at close range to whatever face is nearby. It involves a fairly simple maneuver which would probably be more accurately described as an open-hand slap. What distinguishes it from a love pat is the startling speed and remarkable strength involved, no doubt developed through hours of dragging her body around the apartment at mach 8. The surest way to draw this attack is to wear glasses--an irresistible target. I guess it's universal.
The Misdirection: This is a personal favorite, as it involves a psyche-out as well as a classic demonstration of centrifugal force. With this move, Cheeky will hold an object which we probably don't want to pick up. A bottle, an orange slice, a live grenade...whatever we're letting her have at the moment. She'll fix her gaze to our eyes, drawing us in with cuteness or attentiveness. Then she'll perform a mighty, near-instantaneous backhand swing which arcs the object behind her. We know it's coming every time, yet we're still unable to stop it, as if she knows at exactly what point she can release the sea urchin or human skull just out of reach. Soon she'll be pulling freakin' quarters from behind our ears...
And this is all happening before she walks. In two months she'll be on the parallel bars or, if she's not getting what she wants, smashing chairs on our backs.