I'm blessed with pretty good health, and I almost never get sick. As strong as my genes are, however, they are no match for a twelve-hour bender, and without proper planning I can still end up in fetal position for hours the morning after I experiment with a mixture of Patron and PBR.
Medical science has been kind enough to explain the causes of hangovers, but it's up to us to deal with the treatment. And how often are we in a condition or mood to do that? Fortunately for you I've had plenty of practice, and I've decided to impart to you some wisdom I've learned over the years to help you combat alcohol's insidious sibling.
Water - You know when you're at a party, it's 1 AM, you've had a bottle and a half of wine, and you say, "I'd better have a glass of water so I feel better in the morning." That glass is like the advance force that goes into battle and suffers the heaviest losses. Without reinforcements that poor glass is just a casualty of war. Water is essential, but you'd better fill the largest container possible when you get home (bucket, watering pot, tub) and drain that bad boy. You've got to commit if it's going to save you.
Vitamin B-12 - This is a placebo. A huge freakin' lie. They say B-6 is supposed to help, too. Don't believe them. When was the last time any vitamin not shaped like a Flintstone did you any good?
Hair of the Dog - This may have worked in college, but nowadays just the smell of liquor the morning after has me training to be a super-model. If you still think this is a good idea, you'd better be either pledging Delta Tau Chi or working the twelve steps.
Bitters & Club Soda - This is my secret weapon. I had one of the worst hangovers of my life the night after drinking at The Union at U of W the day before my friend's wedding reception, and I learned this trick from a bartender who spotted me trying to keep an omelet down the next morning. A few ounces of club soda (preferably in a rocks glass) with some bitters shaken in has pulled my stomach from the brink of gastrointestinal suicide on dozens of occasions. A splash of Sprite or 7-Up makes it go down easier. I HIGHLY recommend this solution, and await your personal thanks the next time you try it.
Pedialyte - I have to confess I haven't tried this, but a buddy of mine (who, full disclosure, works for Abbott Labs) swears by it. Anything specifically designed "to prevent dehydration due to diarrhea or vomiting" sounds logical to me. I'm guessing that if any community has ready access to this stuff it's my readers, so if anyone has a chance to try this out let me know!
Actually, I may have a chance to try these this weekend, 'cause we're taking a much-needed vacation this weekend. (Cue Michael McDonald) We'll be strolling the lazy streets of Key West with margaritas at our lips and the promise of sleeping as late as we want for three days in our hearts.
We're packing the Pedialyte.
If you don't hear from us in a week don't send help.