Good For What Ales Ya

I'm blessed with pretty good health, and I almost never get sick.  As strong as my genes are, however, they are no match for a twelve-hour bender, and without proper planning I can still end up in fetal position for hours the morning after I experiment with a mixture of Patron and PBR. 

Medical science has been kind enough to explain the causes of hangovers, but it's up to us to deal with the treatment.  And how often are we in a condition or mood to do that?  Fortunately for you I've had plenty of practice, and I've decided to impart to you some wisdom I've learned over the years to help you combat alcohol's insidious sibling.

Water - You know when you're at a party, it's 1 AM, you've had a bottle and a half of wine, and you say, "I'd better have a glass of water so I feel better in the morning."  That glass is like the advance force that goes into battle and suffers the heaviest losses.  Without reinforcements that poor glass is just a casualty of war.  Water is essential, but you'd better fill the largest container possible when you get home (bucket, watering pot, tub) and drain that bad boy.  You've got to commit if it's going to save you. 

Vitamin B-12 - This is a placebo.  A huge freakin' lie.  They say B-6 is supposed to help, too.  Don't believe them.  When was the last time any vitamin not shaped like a Flintstone did you any good?

Hair of the Dog - This may have worked in college, but nowadays just the smell of liquor the morning after has me training to be a super-model.  If you still think this is a good idea, you'd better be either pledging Delta Tau Chi or working the twelve steps.

Bitters & Club Soda - This is my secret weapon.  I had one of the worst hangovers of my life the night after drinking at The Union at U of W the day before my friend's wedding reception, and I learned this trick from a bartender who spotted me trying to keep an omelet down the next morning.  A few ounces of club soda (preferably in a rocks glass) with some bitters shaken in has pulled my stomach from the brink of gastrointestinal suicide on dozens of occasions.  A splash of Sprite or 7-Up makes it go down easier.  I HIGHLY recommend this solution, and await your personal thanks the next time you try it.

Pedialyte - I have to confess I haven't tried this, but a buddy of mine (who, full disclosure, works for Abbott Labs) swears by it.  Anything specifically designed "to prevent dehydration due to diarrhea or vomiting" sounds logical to me.  I'm guessing that if any community has ready access to this stuff it's my readers, so if anyone has a chance to try this out let me know!

Actually, I may have a chance to try these this weekend, 'cause we're taking a much-needed vacation this weekend.  (Cue Michael McDonald)  We'll be strolling the lazy streets of Key West with margaritas at our lips and the promise of sleeping as late as we want for three days in our hearts. 

We're packing the Pedialyte. 

If you don't hear from us in a week don't send help.

Comments

[Kemp]

Water is mine. I can come home after a night of debauchery and as long as I have about 5 or 28 glasses of water, I'm fine.

But I will definately try the bitters & club soda one next time.

[creative-type dad]

Pedialyte - nasty stuff. Unless it's mixed with Red Bull, then it's OK.

[thordora]

Huge block of cheddar and 3 pints of water.

Works like a charm.

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

I don't know why but KFC works for me.

Next time I trying Pedialyte. My kids won't drink it, I have it on hand and it has WAY less calories.

[merseydotes]

My preventative measure is this:

Just before bedtime, I take two aspirin with as much water as I can handle. Usually about three or four glasses. Go to bed. At 4 or 5 am, when I have to go to the bathroom because of all the water, take two more aspirin and another glass or two of water. By the time I wake up at 6 or 7 am, all I need is an Egg McMuffin and I'm golden.

But I'll remember the bitters and club soda in case the Egg McMuffin doesn't do the trick.

[Kara]

I have never puked from drinking. Ever (and now that I've published this tidbit on line I'm due). Hangover vomit? I'm your queen.

I'm a fan of Gatorade. I like the bitters and soda, but that's my late in the day cure. Gatorade has the fluid/salt/sugar/electrolyte mix that puts back all the stuff that you eliminate on the binge. Also, I can't stand the sight/smell of eggs when I'm well-rested so the omlette/ EggMcMuffin cure that some swear by is not on my list. Yogurt. Lots and lots of vanilla yogurt- soothes the stomach, feels good going down. Most importantly, it usually STAYS down.

Love love LOVE Key West! Have a great time and don't get pecked by those freaky free- range roosters/chickeny-things.

[L.A. Daddy]

Water. No coffee. More water. Some comfort food before you go to bed to soak it all up. Even more water.

Rinse, lather, repeat.

Have fun in Key West. Say hello to Mr. Buffett for me!

Jimmy. Not Warren.

[the weirdgirl]

I don't want to make anyone throw up just for mentioning this but... chili works for me. Love chili the day after drinking. Something about all the protein, and I think the spices help settle the stomach. I don't get those hangover migraines but I do get the queasy stomach but chili does the trick.