For most of my life in New York, I've been working in the FiDi*. With the exception of a brief period in Queens, the shadowy canyons of Lower Manhattan have been my daytime home away from home. I know it's 17th century streets well, and can point confused tourists looking for the Stock Exchange or Battery Park in the right direction. So much of my history with this city has been there.
That all comes to an end today.
Starting next week I'll be broadcasting live from the musty armpit beneath Grand Central Station, a location with all the charm of an industrial park, with the added bonus of being without trees. I shouldn't complain much, since my new office does have an outdoor patio, a pool table, and an Xbox 360 (god help me) but I will definitely miss the storied streets I've called "work" for seven years.
Farewell short commute, which was sometimes so quick I arrived before I left.
Farewell Au Bon Pain, Cosi, Hale & Hearty Soup, and Quizno's. You've been my sole form of nutrition for a long time now. I'm sure the Au Bon Pain, Cosi, Hale & Hearty Soup and Quizno's in my new neighborhood won't be as charming.
Farewell Stone Street. Seriously...you'll be missed.
Farewell narrow streets which blocked the sun, dropping temperatures by a dozen degrees.
Farewell stock brokers, with your pin-striped suits and annual bonuses bigger than my cumulative salary over the last four years. I hope your helicopter crashes on the way to the Hamptons.
Farewell construction site outside my windows. I LOVED the dynamiting you were doing last spring, but that crane is swinging those beams a little too close to my window for comfort. May the new tenants have excellent insurance.
Farewell Starbucks in my building. I can't believe I'll have to cross the street for coffee now...
Farewell empty streets after 7 PM. You'd think we'd been hit by the superflu on the weekends...I half expect to see tumbleweeds roll by.
Farewell to all that. It's been a good run, but it's time for me to find another neighborhood to mock. As long as J & R is there, you know I'll always be back.
* "FiDi" is short for Financial District, a pathetic attempt to build cache for the a stodgy 'hood the same way Tribeca ("Triangle Beneath Canal") and Dumbo ("Down Under Manhattan Bridge Overpass") did. Instead it just makes it sound like a rapper who wouldn't be caught dead there.