Antigua Road Show

The entire Crouton clan is embarking on a grand adventure this week.  For the first time we're all going away on a vacation...TOGETHER.

This is going to be a terrifying learning experience for Oodgie and I.  Once a year we try to go away somewhere and break the monotony of winter.  Although I tend to prefer destinations with plenty of things to do, Oodgie has slowly convinced me that lying on the beach doing nothing has its advantages.  Which is why we're flying out Thursday morning for a week in Antigua.

This is all well and good, but I've got a sinking feeling that this will NOT be like previous vacations.  First of all, it's a "family" resort, which means we aren't the only ones bringing someone who only speaks at one volume.  As much as I love pushing kids into pools, hotel security will probably not appreciate the humor of it like I would.  Furthermore, Cheeky will probably be so excited by the sand, jellyfish, beach scorpions, and other indigenous life that she probably won't nap--or sleep--at all.  I can imagine Oodgie and I three days in, bags under our eyes that could carry a dozen potatoes, arrested for vagrancy as we stumble about the resort in dazed confusion.  My one consolation is that we are at least not dealing with the life-sized monsters staffed at other resorts, thus vastly reducing the likelihood of chaos when a 6-foot Elmo walks up and shatters the image of toddlers with his muffled rum-soaked voice.  I like my puppets safely contained in our television, thank you very much.

In truth, this quiet dread has been slowly replaced by exuberant anticipation of the change of scenery and all-inclusive girly-drinks.  ECG is joining us, so there's an outside shot at some low-cost babysitting, and I'm packing my scuba gear in case I REALLY need to get away.  And the satisfaction of telling my colleagues, "I'm sorry I can't make that meeting, because I'LL BE IN ANTIGUA!" leave a delightfully sweet taste in my mouth.

So you won't be hearing much from us for a while ("what else is new?" chant my long-time readers) but I'm sure the warm tropical breezes and lush, peaceful vistas will keep you distracted. 

Oh no wait...that's ME!  HA!  Enjoy your winter doldrums, everyone...our tan butts will catch up with you soon!

Comments

[p-man]

I was going through the 5 stages of grief as I read this post, finally accepting your renewed absence from this site, then you referred to your family and their "tan butts" and the likelihood they will "catch up" with me. Now I am afraid.

[peter]

That feeling I'm feeling, what is it?
I know.
Jealousy

[TheOtherCW]

Psh, hot weather is overrated. Gimme snow any day. Enjoy your sun burn, suckas!!

[Thordora]

My boss is going on a business conf that technically I should go on but I'm not, and now this.

I hate both of you.

[the weirdgirl]

Have fun-filled, sunny vacation! (you suck)