Can I Get Partial Credit With the Tooth Fairy?

So I'm sitting in Union Square today, eating a tasty salad from Chipotle and soaking up yet another glorious summer day, when...

CRUNCH

My tongue darts across a molar in the back of my mouth and feels a sharp rim around what appears to be a crater in my tooth, as if someone had taken a melon-baller to it and scooped out a spoonful of enamel.  Sure enough I feel around my mouth and pull out a lump of white bone, formerly used to grind nachos to tasty pulp but now swimming around with black beans and lettuce in the back of my throat. 

What the hell?

OK, so MAYBE it's just a coincidence that the pain I'd been feeling on the side of my mouth when I bit down for the last couple weeks was suddenly gone.  And MAYBE it's just a coincidence that I was carrying around a dentist's phone number in my pocket, which I'd been putting off calling because visiting the dentist is right up there with live organ transplants as one of my favorite things to do.

But still, did it have to break off?  Was that really necessary? 

Guess what...I made that call to the dentist.  I'm heading in tomorrow morning.  I hope he doesn't tell me my diet is to blame... 

Comments

[Peter]

Wherever you found that picture. Please put it back. That mans mouth is very disturbing

[ilinap]

Wow, I bet that guy would beat even me at the whole-fist-in-the-mouth bar trick I used to do back in the day.

Would you think I were completely nuts if I told you that I have a recurring dream about my teeth falling out? Seriously, I have it all the time, and in my sleep I can totally feel a tooth whirling around in my mouth while my tongue keeps jutting over to the empty spot.

[Kara]

I hope your mouth is better and you're back to your nachos by now. Where DO you find these pictures?

[Writer Dad]

I'm not laughing at you, I swear. I'm sorry about your tooth. It's just that picture. My goodness, like oh my GOD, what the hell. I could get my tires rotated in there.

[Rachael]

He just reminds me so much of a hungry hungry hippo. I can't think about anything else now.