Night Moves

A glance in the mirror can reveal a great deal.

You may grab a razor when you realize why people think you're a terrorist or porn star.

Or you may realize you drank too much last night.

The perpetually dazed and exhausted look on my face tells me that I'm not waking up right.  And Cheeky is to blame.

Ever since the "big girl bed" was introduced, she has kept hours that would make a truck-stop waitress proud.  Night and day blur, the only commonality is the impunity with which she has extended and marked her territory.  Although I like to think that, like the buffalo before her, the freedom to roam is good for the herd, it can be a bitch when you're trying to sleep.

Which brings me to Cheeky's new morning routine.

While Oodgie and I sleep--or more precisely, while I sleep and Oodgie stares at the ceiling for the third consecutive hour and curses the ease with which I can just lie there comatose--Cheeky's little mind snaps awake.  Not content to pull covers over head and ignore the world until the last possible second like the rest of us, she makes her way to our bedroom. 

She gets close to the bed, and she just stands there.

Which, if you're just on the edge of consciousness, is freaky as shit.

Sometimes we're lucky, and she uses her "Rolling Thunder" approach, which gives us just enough warning to struggle free from whatever Mad Men-related dream Oodgie or I is in the middle of and grudgingly face reality.

But more often enough she uses her "Ninja" approach.  In this scenario, she is instantly, unexpectedly THERE! 

I'm usually so deeply asleep at her moment of arrival that it would take a blow of enormous force to wake me up.  But even in the subterranean depths of REM some primeval parental instinct must sense Cheeky's presence and tickles my brain. 

The shock to my system is pretty intense.

Now, no matter how much sleep I get, I start the day startled and tired, with an extra modicum of resentment mixed in for good measure.  No wonder I look like hell...the kid's aging me before my eyes.

Comments

[Arwen]

This is one of the reasons I don't mind traveling (so I can actually get a full night's sleep).
Fortunately Trey trained Elizabeth really well so she sleeps late when she is up half the night.

[the weirdgirl]

This is one of the reasons why we are still using a baby monitor... advanced warning!

[landismom]

Oh, it's the creepiest thing ever! I remember when the Bee would do this--happily, she grew out of it. Hope Cheeky does soon.

[Whit]

My youngest does this, but not before he takes a detour by the pantry for the jar of peanut butter. Seriously, I wake up every morning with a jar of peanut butter floating in front of my face. It ain't right.

[HB]

Ironically we just watched the Orphanage and Misery this weekend. We have ritual with A too. She "snuggles" us awake. Could be worse.

[p-man]

Mouse traps.

[sam {temptingmama}]

Hahaahahaha! My kid's door creaks with old paint when it's opening so we have fair warning most of the time.

[misfithausfrau]

Oh, I know this well. Get the child-proof door knob thingie that will make it difficult for her to open her door. If nothign else, you will at least have some warning.

[Mike]

Funny post. Having your kid stare at you in the middle of the night is creepy. When in the dark all you see are a pair of eyes looking back at you as you slowly awaken...