Every year a sorry list of bloggers get together to experience the crushing pain of losing to me in fantasy football, and this year is no exception. As a tradition I've aspired to live blog these drafts to expose the ignorance of the other participants and so amateurs can behold my own genius at work. So for the next few hours I'll try to capture the meandering madness of our draft, at least until the beer really starts to kick in around the 11th round. Enjoy!
7:51 - The crew is assembling. Resident Republican BIYF is trying to get all his provocative comments in before Queen of Spain joins. We'll be without last years champion, Metrodad, who has asked me to draft for him. I'm targeting Maurice Clarett in the first round for him.
7:56 - Our newest member, Technosailor, has joined. Fresh meat.
8:08 - Maurice Jones-Drew and Adrian Peterson go 1-2. Then it gets weird. Eric forgets it's a PPR league and drafts Tom Brady. Queen of Spain takes Kurt Warner two picks later, mystifying and delighting everyone. I pick DeAngelo Williams, because I'm in the South now and I'm required to do so.
8:10 - Whit, with the 12th & 13th pick, gets Andre Johnson and Larry Fitzgerald. We all collectively shudder.
8:13 - Technosailor drafts Terrell Owens with his second pick. Going for the all 2004 team.
8:19 - Picks going by too fast to track...
8:23 - A run on WR as the PPR math catches up with everyone and we all collectively realize that the remaining RBs all suck equally.
8:29 - Hit a dry patch. Lots of waiting. Hoping there's a run on kickers in the fourth round. I need a beer.
8:30 - For the record I may live in Texas now, but I cannot bring myself to root for--or draft--a Cowboy.
8:34 - Fourth round and I've only taken 1 RB so far. Usually I go RB-RB-RB/WR, but this year I'm breaking with tradition. After picking up Randy Moss in the 2nd and Roddy White in the 3rd, I close my eyes and pick Ochocinco.
8:37 - Dammit. Just had to draft for Metrodad and picked Aaron Rodgers. I wanted him. And apparently so did Child's Play. Tough shit, dude.
8:45 - Oodgie is sitting on the couch ignoring me. She's watching Man vs. Food which, conveniently, is about Austin tonight. After watching the host chow on barbecue for five minutes she declares she's going vegetarian.
8:52 - Technosailor claims Buffalo is the "dark horse of the AFC east." He may be right...I predict they'll come in fourth.
8:54 - Jamal Lewis? Does he still play?
9:00 - I need a QB stat. But there's some talent at RB on the board. What to do...what to do...
9:02 - Kellen Winslow goes. The only Buc worth taking. Sarah's world falls apart.
9:10 - We begin reminiscing about Tom Brady's season last year. 2 points total. It's probably wrong, but deep down I'm smiling at the thought of a repeat.
9:14 - I just got Jonathon Stewart to handcuff DeAngelo. That NEVER works out for me.
9:18 - Whit takes Brett Favre. The hazing begins. Still on the board: David Garrard, Carson Palmer, 50 better choices. He starts blaming his draft board. Then the chair.
9:26 - Jesus, we still have five rounds to go.
9:32 - Queen of Spain takes Sebastian Janikowski in the 12th round. He's my #32 ranked kicker. I LOVE HER!
9:41 - Kyle Orton will be All-World this year. You just wait...
9:47 - People are starting to drop off. Pussies. Don't you care about your kicker? Ryan Succop is still on the board!
9:57 - Michael Vick! PETA starts throwing Molotov cocktails at Technosailors front door.
10:00 - Holy crap...16 rounds in two hours! That's got to be a record. I even managed to squeeze a Ahmad Bradshaw onto Metrodads roster so he wouldn't whine about not having any Giants.
And that's a wrap! Not as funny as in previous years, but blessedly swift. By my calculations I have by far the best team in the league, which is cold comfort considering that's what I thought last year when I came in 8th.
Only three more drafts to go! Looking forward to sleeping on the couch until mid-September...